Nipples to the Wind
February 1, 2007

I open in a few weeks in a gorgeous historic theatre in North Hollywood and recently noticed that they had a production in called "Nipples to the Wind".

A title a girl like me just couldn't resist taking a peak at.

So I packed my two up in their upper topper flopper stoppa and hot footed it down to the El Portal Theatre to check it out.

I was glad I covered mine up, it gets really nippy here at night, if I was any bigger I could have easily got mistaken for a couple of coat hooks.

A good night was had, comedy, music and dance.

At the intermission I mingled in the lobby, chatting with folk and got the ball rolling on promoting my own show.

Inspired by Nipples I decided to stick with the theme and began branding my own fairly newly purchased pair of gazongers.

Chatting with a couple, one gentlemen asked what had led me to buy such items?

I am an enterprising young woman. I replied.

These babies were part of an important investment into my future.

Instant growth and steady performance, that's all I had in my business plan.

Frank may have wanted to wake up in a city that doesn't sleep but Tash wanted to wake up to the Swiss Alps.

He smiled and looked immediately at his wife's chest.

I went on to tell him that my fascination with boobs began at an early age as my childhood was spent in a living room that resembled a sex shop.

My parents sold ladies underwear on the markets in the middle of England and my talent for spotting a cup size from 50 paces began at the age of 6.

I then went on to tell him his wife was a 34B and that as Valentine's Day was approaching he now has no excuse not to purchase a beautiful sexy gift - this time, one that fits.

He replied by asking me to tell him the size of the tall striking blonde standing in the doorway smoking a cigarette.

He wife wacked him in the chest, smiled, said I was right about her size and that she would be buying tickets to the show and bringing her friends - not her husband!.

Damn it, some ya win and some ya lose.

But still a good investment to my future though!

—Tash x

© Natasha Wood 2009